By Yap Gim Hong

From my birth to my current age of over 60 years old, my life has been a journey of one challenge after another, each requiring me to face various trials of the mind.

I recall a particularly unforgettable phase. After my daughter was born, my life was filled with fear and panic. Several times, I even had strong thoughts of suicide. What helped me get through this was my sense of responsibility towards my daughter. I am her mother, and it is my duty to protect and raise her; I couldn’t just give up. Yet even after deciding to stay alive for her sake, I lived in constant fear, worrying that someone might kidnap or harm her. This persistent fear quickly led to high blood pressure, showing me just how much our thoughts can affect our lives.

After overcoming various other challenges, I encountered Buddhism and Sagaramudra Buddhist Society. I have studied here for 10 years but felt I hadn’t learned much. However, when I lay in a hospital bed, I remembered what I had learned: to pull back to the present and think about what I should do now. This major illness taught me a key lesson: my life no longer belongs solely to me; it is also for others. I have a 93-year-old mother to care for, and my children, though grown up, still need me as a source of spiritual support. I also realized that my mental state affects those around me. Therefore, I need to work on my mind. This is just an illness, not an unhappy illness.

“Repay the four kinds of grace and relieve suffering in the three lower realms. May all who hear these words develop a Bodhicitta, and may this life lead us all to the Pure Land.”

I want to show my children that even if the body suffers, the mind can remain at peace. Life passes quickly, so why not cherish it? This is just a simple expression of my experience. Each person has different methods of cultivation, and we must be flexible in our approach. But we should remember: “If the body falls, so be it; but don’t let the mind fall. If the body suffers, don’t let the mind suffer!”